I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize