i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize