I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit