Grow some girl-balls and come out already
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.