i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
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You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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