I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize