i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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