can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
