i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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