I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
