Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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