Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
