I'm eating all of the evidence.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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