I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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