I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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