party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
