I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Little spoons don't ask big questions
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize