i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
