i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
