Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Congratulations! We have a period
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize