so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
