ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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