i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.