she takes plan B like it's going out of style
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize