I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I will pee on everything he values.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now