I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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