My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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