I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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