I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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