Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
