Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
