after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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