i don't like sucking hair
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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