Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
