Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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