Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
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Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
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And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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