I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Actions speak louder than pants.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
