Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
