Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
