So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
