He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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