I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize