THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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