he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Semen is not good for contacts.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
