ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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