never play flip cup with pint glasses
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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