There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
