I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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