There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
