just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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