My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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