I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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