Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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