Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
