you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
