stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
