I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
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Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
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you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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