Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
be right there i have to get my cape
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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