Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
