The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
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It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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I have fence marks all over my body
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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