Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
