Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
