There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
