And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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