If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
zippers are such a cool invention
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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