Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I could fuck to npr.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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