haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Your penis caused this!
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