I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Also, beer. Big fan.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My vagina just clenched in fear
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
His nipple licking is glorious
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
