Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
